Friday, November 27, 2009

25 or 26 or 27 South: Cowboy Country to the Rockies.

"I don't know if we will make it before dark," the day was burning quickly as we drove across the plains of Wyoming. "I mean, whatever, but it may get interesting."

The day was hot. We were driving south. Tumbleweeds were pinned against the fence next to the road and occasionally one escaped and rolled quickly over the unimpeded flat of the land. The plains looked a dead yellow, and antelope occasionally galloped gracefully across the hills. Cliffs hung out over the road in some areas, but it was mostly just soft hills rolling towards the horizon.

"This is cowboy land."

"I know, I keep thinking I am seeing them perched on horses on the top of cliffs, like we are driving into some kind of lone ranger ambush," said Domenic as he drove the car in a straight line along the black asphalt.

Joeb was passed out in the back seat. I was sitting in the front and Brandon was scribbling in his journal behind me.

"How long until we get to the Rockies?"

"At least five hours, I think."

The day had started out peaceful. We parted the badlands in a grey morning and a lonely wind which made my jaw ache in the cold. Since then we had entered a seared part of the world and the flatness was monotonous and I could not wait to get to the mountains.

"Do you know what the weather is like?"

"Cold. Snow. Should we still try to make it?"

"Hell yeah, it was cold as shit last night we were fine."

Up ahead I noticed a man in construction clothes holding a stop sign surrounded by nothing. We stopped and Domenic rolled down the window, "Hey man. What's going on?"

"Howdy, construcion, the next ten miles. You guys just missed the last train going this way, going to be about twenty minutes. You may as well get comfortable."

Domenic looked relaxed and he put the car in park and turned the key. We got out and left Joeb asleep in the backseat but eventually he woke up and joined us in the warm afternoon.

"Where are you fellas from?"

"Back east."

"What are you doing on this road?"

"Who knows." Domenic smiled slyly and the man studied his expression and I saw a smile try to penetrate through the weathered skin hanging like dough on his face.

"You from around here?"

He laughed and his gut shook through his clothes, "What do you think?"

We all smiled and I could see in the haze headlights off in the distance.

"We better get going," said Domenic and he shook the mans hand and tucked a cigarette in his pocket, "I'm sure this gets boring," and we drove away without looking back.

Domenic was the one who convinced me to take this trip over the summer. We were sitting on the beach with a bottle of bourbon as the sun was setting behind the sand dunes. I was looking at him and he was staring out at the water and there was a concerned look on his face as if our conversation was one of utmost importance. We had spent the day in the sun and I could see it in his face. It was one of those late august nights when everything is the way it should be except you can feel it ending and there is a hole somewhere deep in your stomach.

"This has been one hell of a summer," he said as I drew circles in the sand with my finger. "All the bull shit idealism I have been reading about, I just don't believe it. It is almost like I have been waiting for something to happen and everything to be perfect. This is perfect, isn't it? I hate when I do this. Am I even speaking out loud right now?" He let out a yell to pierce the evening and it was smothered by the wind and he didn't look satisfied.

I looked on at the water. The waves were rolling slowly and creeping up the sand. I sipped the bourbon, "I want to write. I want to do it forever. I want it to be my thing. But it doesn't matter what you do or how you are remembered or any of that because we only have what we have while we are alive and everyone else has what they have and that is it. There isn't much more than that, right?."

"What the hell are we doing?"

"What do you mean?"

"This. Time is just moving and I am getting the feeling we shouldn't be expecting an apology for it any time soon."

"Yeah but we can't do anything about that."

"Look at that wave right there. It just rolls in with so much force and then eventually just recides. To what?" Domenic looked older and like he was tearing apart from the inside. I felt it too, and I didn't know what to say or what to do or anything. "Life feels so bland and then it will be over and then nothing."

"It is more than that."

"Says who?"

"Or not. Either way we'll probably never know."

"Let's just go somewhere."

"Where?"

Domenic looked straight ahead at the water. A gull was strolling awkwardly along the sand, scanning seaweed for some kind of dinner. A gust of wind made my hair dance on my head and I shivered but not from the cold. He just motioned, not with his hand but more his whole body and murmured something under his breath and then he laid back in the sand and closed his eyes, "I don't know. Anywhere."

We both fell asleep for a while and when we woke up the emptiness was gone and it was completely dark. We didn't speak any more of it that night but we both felt different about our home and it may have been because the aura of summer was dissapering like a thin mist and it was hard to tell when it was gone but one day we woke up and knew we had to leave. That was it, we just knew we had to leave.

Joeb snored loudly, so loudly he woke up. I could breathe peacefully and it was enough to make me smile. The car was quiet and I could sense that emptiness again but it was smothered by some kind of excitement like we knew we were as close as we'd ever be to an answer and that had to be enough. We knew it had to be.

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